Caribbean Confessions

If You Know You’re the Jabal, Be the Best at It

Life as a woman in Saint Lucia is not easy. The truth nobody likes to say out loud is that women outnumber men here. That means the competition is fierce, and sometimes, even when you try to walk the straight path, life bends you in a direction you never thought you’d go.

I grew up Seventh-day Adventist, raised to believe in God, respect, and keeping myself pure. I was never a bad girl. I wasn’t running behind men, I wasn’t dressing up to catch anybody’s eye, and I surely wasn’t planning to become a jabal. But life doesn’t always follow your plans.

When Jason came into my world, I didn’t see myself as stealing another woman’s man. I saw myself as saving him. Jason is a bus driver from the south of Saint Lucia, and people love to joke that bus drivers always have plenty of women. Maybe that’s true, but with Jason things were different. I wasn’t chasing him. He came after me. He confided in me. And slowly, I became the one he depended on.

Ask any Lucian woman, and she’ll tell you that the numbers don’t add up. Women outnumber men by far, and plenty of the available men are either married, taken, or not serious. The rest? Many are unemployed, lost in alcohol, or don’t know how to treat a woman. So when a hardworking man steps into your life.. a man who actually has goals, keeps himself neat, and provides for his family! it’s hard to ignore him, even if you know he belongs to somebody else.

Jason’s wife didn’t allow him to breathe as a man. That’s his own words. She wanted to control every cent, but the truth is she never respected how hard he worked for it. She would take his bus money and spend it how she pleased, leaving him with nothing for himself. That’s where I came in. At first it was just small things… he would give me a little cash to hold so he had something put aside for when she squeezed him too tight. Then it grew. He realized that when he gave me money, it stayed safe. I wasn’t wasting it or hiding it from him. I was stretching it, showing him how to manage it better. Before long, he was trusting me with more than he ever trusted her, because I gave him control back over his own hard-earned money.

With me, his money wasn’t disappearing! it was multiplying. I budgeted, I planned, I made sure he always had clean shirts, cologne, and even savings for emergencies. That was something he never experienced at home. His wife wanted control for power, but I took control to build him up. That’s why he started saying I was the one who really had his back.

And of course, there was the bedroom. That was a big part of it. His wife wasn’t giving him what he needed, and some women think once they marry, they can stop trying. That’s how they lose their men. With me, Jason never had to beg or explain himself. I knew what he wanted, and I made sure he was satisfied every single time. It was another way I gave him back his manhood, another reason he trusted me and kept coming back.

Being in this position taught me the five golden rules of being a jabal. Rule one: never confront the wife, because the moment you cross that line you lose all control. Rule two: never get jealous, because jealousy will only expose you and ruin your peace. Rule three: make sure you add value… whether it’s helping him manage his money, fixing his appearance, or keeping him mentally balanced. Rule four: always protect the secret, because once people start talking the whole thing collapses. And rule five: know when to walk away, because a jabal who overstays her season ends up looking desperate instead of powerful.

And yes, a proper jabal knows her way around a kitchen. You cannot be a jabal and not know how to cook. If you can’t whip up a proper meal, you’re missing half the power. I made sure Jason never went hungry, never missed his favorite dishes, and always felt cared for in every way. Cooking was part of the magic! because a jabal who feeds a man right is a jabal who stays unforgettable.

People will read this and call me a homewrecker, but I know my truth. I didn’t break Jason’s marriage. His marriage was already cracked, and I was just the plaster holding him together. Growing up Adventist, I still pray, I still believe in God, and I still know right from wrong. But life is not black and white. Women in Saint Lucia don’t always have fair options. With more women than men, some of us will end up in positions we never expected. That doesn’t make us less, it just means we adapt.

Do I plan to stay a jabal forever? No. I want my own husband, my own family, my own peace. But I walked away with something too! a small home, my own Suzuki Swift, and a few life lessons that no one can take from me. You cannot underestimate the value of knowing your worth, and knowing how to handle a man’s money, his mind, and his stomach.

Me? I owned it. And Jason from the south will never forget the jabal who kept his life running smoother than his wife ever did.

Signed,
“The Best Jabal in the South”

Got a secret, a heartbreak, or a story too wild to keep to yourself?
Send us your Caribbean Confession. Your story stays anonymous, but your truth might set somebody else free.

Write to us at damajority@gmail.com and let your voice be heard.

Because in the Caribbean, the sweetest talk and the deepest pain both deserve to be told.